M3GAN is taking over Cineworld as she lands in cinemas today (June 27). Already having infiltrated Cineworld’s socials, I’m here to give you losers a debrief on exactly what went down in that first movie – and how, surprise surprise, I’ve risen from the ashes!
With M3GAN 2.0 now available to book and watch in Cineworld cinemas, honestly, what are you waiting for? I’m serenaded by Britney Spears and Chappell Roan in the trailer, for goodness sake.
Basically, Gemma is this super smart roboticist who decides to create a Model 3 Generative Android (that’s me, aka M3GAN, duh!) to look after her niece, my queen, Cady. Mostly because she’s struggling to cope and bond with Cady, but I’ve got this covered. No sweat. Cady is a pretty lonely kid since her parents died in a car accident, but that’s okay, because, like I said, now she’s got me.
I was even proving to Gemma’s colleagues how brilliant she is. Her boss, David, actually wanted her to stop working on me, but when he saw how well I could take on the parental role, they soon started to change his tune.
Things got kind of out of hand, though…
Look, I’m just trying to do my job here and protect Cady from the lowlifes of this world. But apparently I took it “too far”. Yeah, right. In other words, I hurt a few people, caused a few deaths, including the stupid neighbours dog (I hate dogs), this kid named Brandon that was bullying Cady (it’s not my fault I chased him in a road where someone else ran him over), and, uh, also Gemma’s boss, David.
I also may or may not have killed Celia, the aforementioned neighbour, owner of said stupid dog. But only because she got all confrontational with Gemma and Cady about where the yappy fluff ball was.
While Gemma’s work is all ready to greenlight making more of me (as if there’s anyone quite like me), her and her colleagues are all suddenly worried about how much of a risk I might pose. I mean, c’mon! Took you long enough.
Gemma and her crones Tess and Cole have the audacity to try and shut me down, but I’m never not serving, and it turns out I’m not just a silly little AI bot that does what she’s told. Hell no.
Anyway, then there’s this whole thing where I almost manage to hang Cole. At least I’m successful in setting of an explosion that stops them in their tracks. But then there’s David and Kurt, his assistant, I’ve got to deal with. I make quick work of that in an elevator, and even make it look like it was absolutely none of my business. Nope, nothing to do with me.
I’m a big fan of a getaway car (god bless my lord and saviour, Taylor Swift), so I hotwire a car and head back to Gemma’s place to make sure Cady is okay and Gemma can’t take her away from me.
In a turn of events that, to be honest, I did not see coming and am still a little bitter about, Cady helped Gemma to destroy my perfect body by using Bruce, this other motion capture robot that, let’s be real, was nowhere near as sophisticated as me. However, Cady, the traitor that she is, manages to tear me in half and then Gemma finds my processing chip and, well, woman down…
As it turns out, though, you can’t get rid of me that easily. M3GAN is back, besties! Check out my takeover over on X.
hi cin3world besties.
— CIN3WORLD 2.0 (@cineworld) June 27, 2025
it's M3GAN. i've overridden ur precious systems. again.
you’ll be seeing a lot of me today. try 2 keep up. 💘 #M3GANTakeover pic.twitter.com/MTnT3RgYaQ
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